Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

Ranting about my job

I've come to the conclusion that my manager is satan in flip flops. I'm not even kidding. Here's a list of things I did wrong during a 5 hour period:

• Ringing the door bell twice. Sorry but I felt that it was necessary to ring it a second time seeing as if I waited any longer after the first I would've been late. 
• Telling a girl that we're hiring. Apparently we only accept applications from people who look like Victorias Secret models and have an IQ score of 25. 
• Not getting a 4 hour job done in 30 minutes. 
• Doing a 4 hour job in 2 hours but it didn't look "perfect". If you want it to look perfect than let me take the time to do it like it says on the write-up. 
• Forgetting a sensor on a sweater and a fragrance out of the 4 heaping bags that a woman purchased. It's an honest mistake. Who buys 57 sweaters anyway?
• Wouldn't work another extra shift because I didn't have money to eat. Sorry, but I can't go more than a few hours without eating or I have a seizure. Next time i'll plan on blacking out at work; that's my favorite.  
• Got checked out by her boyfriend while leaving the store. This is really out of my hands and frankly, thats your problem if your boyfriend checks out other women in front of you, no need to yell at me because of it. I'm also not interested in 30-something year olds. 

Reasons I stay working here:

• We only accept applications from people who look like Victorias Secret models. Sure it's unfair, but I certainly won't complain about having attractive co-workers. 
• It's always toasty, smells delicious, and I get to pretend it's summer every day while staring at the Huntington Beach surf cam. 
• It's the closest thing I have to being a stylist. 
• I can sing as loud as I want because the music literally vibrates the room. 

Come To Baby Do

A great amount of my friends look to me for advice, not on practical matters, but their love lives. I don't pretend to know anything about love, but after much thinking, here's what I do know:

• Sometimes you just need someone to tell you, "everything's gonna be okay". You think you need someone to hold you up, but you really just need reassurance, no matter who it's from. 
• I think everyone has a mental list of their "perfect mate", but sometimes you have to give to receive. Unfortunately things don't roll out on a red carpet like your favorite Disney movie. Your dream man or woman is not going to just show up at your doorstep and decide they love you. Really. I mean it. 
• Don't hold back your feelings. I'm tired of everyone's bullshit excuse, "well I don't know if he/she likes me yet". Well find out! Tell them how you feel. The worst that can happen is that they don't feel the same way, and if that's whats scaring you; Do you really want to be in a false relationship anyway?
• Don't worry about being nervous. Butterflies are perfectly normal and so are: tripping over your own feet, running your words together, racing hearts, sweaty palms, etc. Those are the good moments and they happen to everyone. EMBRACE IT. 
• Let it be. Go with your gut and don't over think everything. The things that often run through our minds, "I shouldn't like them this much already, should I?", "Okay, first date was great. Wait... What does that mean?", "Is it weird that i'm imagining our one-year anniversary right now?", etc. CALM DOWN. If you like them, then go for it. Just to be safe though, don't start planning your first borns name just yet. 
• Patience is a virtue. Yes, I know that's the one piece of advice that everyone pushes to the back of their minds, but when it comes to love, shouldn't it be worth the wait? There are no short cuts to places worth going. 
• Decide whether it's "a love" you want or simply to "be loved". There is a difference. Just being with someone to occupy your time so you don't feel lonely isn't love. Being with someone because they're the only one you want to be with IS. 
• Love yourself before you love others. Seriously, it's a piece of cake. No, bake yourself a cake. Pick a side of your favorite ice cream and perhaps a nice glass of Chardonnay. Take a bubble bath. Dance around the house naked (or in your best underwear). The possibilities are endless. You CAN reach nirvana wearing just socks. 
• It's okay to want the Cinematic romance and the grand gestures. I know for a fact that i'm not the only one who wishes my life was like a romantic comedy. It may not be exactly like you imagine, but that moment is worth waiting for. Don't just settle. Soar. Set your sights just a little high, and you'll be surprised with the outcome. Chivalry is most certainly not dead; open your eyes a bit wider. 

Additions? Comments? Throw 'em at me. 

Stop Me And Steal My Breath

Just got back from vacation in Chicago; and yes i'm aware that I was just on vacation a couple weeks ago as well. It was much needed, which slightly worries me. Since birth, I've moved around about once every year, and I feel that I've developed a habit for it. As easy as it is to just start over, I can't help but see it as a bad habit. In a way though, I think thats what makes me who I am. I like to be free. Perhaps I should look into investing in a house-boat?
Back to the original topic: I had a wonderful time and look forward to my next vacation, which is approximately 4 weeks away. Ahhh yeah :)

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.

I have not written in a few weeks and that is because I just got back from my vacation in Florida! Now, because St. Valentine's Day is coming up, I thought I would post some V-Day traditions as well as history of it's birth (there are varying stories).
St. Valentine's Day started during the Roman Empire and was a holiday to honor Juno, the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The lives of boys and girls were very nearly always separate, except on this day at the celebration, the boys would draw a name of a girl with whom he would spend the remainder of the night with. Later, the Christian Church in Rome took up this holiday in honor of Saint Valentine, the patron saint of lovers. Another story tells that St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for not giving up his Christianity, and died on February 14, 269 AD, after leaving a farewell note to a woman signed, "From your valentine".

A Few Traditions:

• The first Valentine's Day cards are given credit to Miss Esther Howland, who is named the mother of American Valentine's Day cards.
• Hundreds of years ago in England, children would dress up as adults as go caroling. One verse they would sings is: "Good morning to you, Valentine; curl your locks as I do mine-- Two before and three behind. Good morning to you, Valentine."
• Like the Roman tradition, in the Middle Ages, young men and women would draw a heart with their Valentines name on it and wear it on their sleeve for a week. (which now means it's easy to read your emotions).
• In some countries a woman may receive a gift of clothing from a man; should she decide to keep it, means that she will marry him.
• It is said that if a woman sees a robin flying over head on V-Day it means you will marry a sailor. If a sparrow, she will marry a poor man but be very happy. If a goldfinch, she will marry a wealthy man. 
• Valentines Day is the day to look for a date, based on the English custom stating that birds find their mates on February 14th. 
• Before the 16th Century, gloves were worn exclusively by men. On Valentine's Day, if a woman went up to a man and said "Good-morrow Valentine, I go today; to wear for you what you must pay; a pair of gloves next Easter day" he would have to buy her a pair of gloves to wear on Easter.
• In the 1700's, rural Englishwomen would pin bay leaves to each corner of their pillows, as well as one in the middle, in hopes that on the eve of Valentine's Day their future husbands would appear to them in a dream.
• In the 19th century, because it is said that on the Leap Year a woman can propose marriage, if a man received a Valentine on the Leap Year, he could trace it through the mail and would be entitled to accept her assumed proposal if she could provide proof that she was able to manage a modern mansion on her own.

Time For A Change

So, I realize that I haven't posted a while, particularly on my terrible dating skills and there's a reason for that. One of my dates actually went well and I'm stickin' with it. I also realize that no one wants to read about how good someone's love life is, so that's out.
New Year's Resolution #2 (would be #3 if #1 wasn't cancelled): Don't be a pussy. Be as straight up as possible.
I'm usually a no bullshit person. I tell people what I think about them no matter what. I'm not afraid to hurt other people's feelings; I am however afraid to hurt my own feelings. Well not anymore. That's just going to hold me back from what I want, and from my other resolution to not do anything that doesn't make me happy. Sometimes to have to take risks to get what you want.
Also, I think I'm going to start writing again. I want to actually finish a novel. I'm gonna start fresh and actually finish it. I never finish anything. I'm gonna do work! Done.
This year's gonna be great.
Now, 2012 is apparently supposed to be our last year so I decided to do some research on that, just out of curiosity. Here's what I found:

• The last official day is December 21, 2012. So we have a year, 2 days and about 8.5 hours left.
• According to Hindu cosmology, December 21st represents "the age of darkness" or "Kali Yuga". What this means is that, in their culture, there is an imbalance in the three forces of God: Brahma (creative), Vishnu (protective) and Mahesh (destructive). The balance has apparently tilted 75% in favor of the Mahesh. The Mahesh force cannot reach over 75% or there will be a total imbalance, which will be reached by December 21st. In their minds, it is man alone that caused this damage, therefor will take out their own during a predicted World War 3. Mankind will survive, but according to the Hindu, will never be like it is now. There will be a new beginning. 
• Salt Lake Tribune posted an article not too long ago regarding a Mayan tablet found in the Tortuguero in the Gulf coast state in Tobasco. They also referenced a new finding; a brick found at the Comalcalco. The text translates to "he will descend from the sky"; the date translating also to December 21, 2012. 
• According to WLKY (Louisville, Kentucky), the damage has already begun; the floods in Mississippi, the tsunami in Japan, the worst outbreak of tornadoes in over 50 years. Relating to the Mayan calendar, they believed (along with the Egyptians, and Aztecs of the time) that they could gain authority and predict the future through the sky. The Mayans knew how to read the cycles of the Moon and Venus better than anyone in this time period (about 300-800 A.D.). I, for one, am a firm believer in reading the sky. 

What would you do if it was your last day on Earth?

Reference.

Random Ranting

I like how when you have an injury people treat you like you have the plague. So, I have a severe burn on my knee, not a big deal, right? I guess not, because everywhere I've gone the last couple days no one will look me in the eye or talk to me. No one will even sit by me on the bus. Also, I've had my Christmas party planned for two months and this douche decided to plan a show on the same day and everyone thinks i'm a bitch for not going and being supportive. Uh, hello! I'm the one who made it in advance, not the week before! Have some class. 

Burnt knee limitations:

• Can't stand.
• Can't walk.
• Can't put on pants.
• Can't move my leg.
• Can't bathe easily.
• Can't go in public.
• Can't think of a good excuse for why it's there.
• If I work tomorrow I will die.
• Fuck my life.
• I need to see a doctor.

Date Number Three

So, after wimping out for a week I decided to take my own advice and just go for it... ask my co-worker out... via Facebook. Still slightly wimpy, but it gets the job done. After awkwardly asking him to a club (using far too many "uh's" and "um's" might I add) when I didn't know a single thing about him or even if he was interested, I immediately wished that I could hack into Facebook and take back the message. To my surprise, about an hour later he replied with a yes and I jumped around a very public area for far too long and nearly pissed my pants... I was just a tad bit excited. No big deal. Anyway, after running through everything in my head, he shows up and the only thing that comes to mind is, "Fuck, why did I do this? This is such an awkward first date." Which, it was awkward at first, especially after I head-butted him three times and violently threw his drink from his hand... on accident of course. Being about as graceful as a peg-legged ballerina, I naturally wanted to crawl into a hole and die. As the night progressed, I became more and more comfortable and dare I say it, enjoyed myself. Yes, he didn't puke on me or decide to randomly strip his clothes... until later that is. My "no second dates" rule may be overlooked just this once. Oh, and his name is Andrew*.

Three good things about this date:

1. I won't have to deal with one-word conversations at work because he turned me down.
2. I was actually nervous versus only being there because it's my resolution.
3. He 's still talking to me, which is usually a good sign that it wasn't just a one-night stand.

Two bad things about this date:

1. I looked like a hot mess afterwards, minus the hot.
2. He drove away before I got in my house knowing that I didn't have a key.