I've started to realize that kindness can be one of the worst qualities a person can possess. When you're too kind I find that (in my case) people take advantage of you. They know you'll always be there for them but they never have to be there for you. They know that you'll put up with just about anything to keep the peace. I've made a sort of short-term goal to try and be more selfish. I know that may sound absolutely ridiculous, but I'm wondering if I'd be more happy if I found the happy-medium. There is a right amount of kindness and selfishness I'm sure.

On a side note, in honor of New York Fashion Week, I wanted to highlight some of my favorite pieces from various collections I've been seeing this week.

For starters: The Spring 2013 ready-to-wear collection from Badgley Mischka is TO DIE FOR. I can honestly say that if I had an extra two grand lying around, I would spend it on one of these gowns (after purchasing my Burberry coat of course) in a heart beat. Specifically the one on the left.

Leave it to Jason Wu to successfully combine feminine and rocker, leaving us with an unforgettable line for spring. Here are my favorite pieces:

One dress in particular caught my eye from Max Azria:

Custo Barcelona's line was packed full of cool prints, sequins, lace and leather. Here's my favorite:

These are but a very small amount of the wonderful collections shown at  NYFW and I can't wait to see what else is coming. 

Enjoy! ^.^

Sad Attempt At Vlogging

This is me attempting to not look stupid in a video. I also don't know why I look so pale... and slightly purple. 

Enjoy! ^.^

Dream Catcher

She sleeps alone, finding her nightly pilgrimage setting with the rising of the sun.
Solar rays light up dust particles that kiss her skin, "Good morning" she says.
His face the first and last thought upon every hour of this day; of every single day.
Perhaps not every hour of every day, but in a sad attempt to serenade him with the beating of her not-so-rhythmic heart, everything seems to become enhanced somehow.
Those empty pockets between her fingers ache as she drums to the beat of every second passing by; Every second brings her closer and for a second her clouded vision subsides at the thought.
Life moves in a slow motion reel, as if when she opens her eyes it's the farthest from Friday she'll ever be.
Monday is her reality and Monday seems to grip her so tightly, she seems to forget she isn't dreaming. She tells herself she isn't dreaming.
Her restless soul moves like sea foam, riding upon the back of every ocean wave bringing her just close enough and pulls her back.
To break free would be an ever so lonely slumber; she choses to remain vulnerable to the pull of the tide.
After all, like her, the tide has a longing for what keeps it in motion.
He moves like the ocean; he comes and goes, enticing her senses and leaving her breathless.
His touch, like a cool whisper of the wind, gently tapping against every corner of her mind.
She bites her now numb lips at the thought of every shiver sent down her spine.
She tells herself she isn't dreaming, but if Friday is ever so pleasant, her dreams must be a rushing whirlwind of Ghirardelli chocolate.
"Unreal" being the understatement that haunts her every moment of every day.
Swallowed in a down casing, she sleeps alone.
Eyes drawn to the moon outside her window, like a moth to a flame, she wonders how, with all this distance, that the goosebumps lining every inch of her body can feel so heavy.
So heavy, like the burden that is Monday, like the burden that keeps her restless only dreaming of Friday when she can, for a moment, feel what its like to be engulfed in his arms.

Creepers On My Bus

I just want to say that when you hit on a girl on the bus and she puts in her headphones, that means she doesn't want to talk to you. That doesn't mean that you can take pictures of her boobs "secretly" for fifteen minutes and touch her hair. Someone please send me pepper spray for Christmas, thank you.

I Am A Teenage Girl

Long time readers may remember the days I would pick out the beyond horrible dates I went on and post about them; remnants of my "one-date-then-dash" rule I made up so I wouldn't have to deal with the negatives of actually liking someone. That didn't last more than a year or so because I realized how incredibly lonely and stupid it was; I will admit though, that it was a hell of a lot easier. For my age (nineteen), I really haven't steadily seen more than one person mostly due to my constantly moving around, and after my one person, the fear of having another relationship turn out like that one did. I consider my self a risk-taker, but it's hard to take risks on things with a more permanent turn-out, like my feelings. I do realize I sound like the wimpiest person on the face of the earth, so no comments on that please. I guess my point is, that my rule prevented me from all of the confusion I am now experiencing; Though I don't want to take back that feeling. Maybe I'm more controlling than I want to admit. I like to know exactly whats going on at all times, and I like to have full control; In love there is no control in my opinion. In movies it's all so simple, but in real life all thats going through my head is, "what the hell is going on?"
Anyway, I'm just going to assume that I know nothing and everything will continue to be confusing as ever. Awesome.

Fifty Shades Of Ridiculousness

For non-readers: Unless you don't care to have the book spoiled for you, I would suggest not reading the rest of this post.

I began reading the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" yesterday and I was a huge fan of Grey up until chapter four I believe. I am not finished with the book, but so far it seems to me like a modern, slightly vulgar version of a Jane Austen novel, particularly "Pride and Prejudice". Christian Grey reminds me of Mr. Darcy in the sense that his personality comes off as very snobbish and arrogant. On top of it, I was taken by surprise when in order for Ana to be his girl friend (or rather sex slave to the "red room") she needs to sign a contract saying that he basically has full control over her and their relationship is to be scheduled weekly based on his availability and ideals. I like to think that if I were put in her situation I would be very frightened of him; though I am curious as to why he is the way he is, which is why I am still reading on.

Character analysis over for the moment.

To Bee Or Not To Bee

I'm taking a stroll down the side walk, enjoying the sunshine when I hear that familiar sound of tiny wings buzzing by. I stop dead in my tracks, giving the bee the right-of-way all the while I'm waiving my arms around and my eyes are shut so tight they start to tear up; only then do i realize how absolutely retarded I must look to the public. I stop and walk completely around the area for fear that they'll get caught in my hair, which actually happened twice today.
I now know how embarrassing it must be to be seen with me. My apologies go out to anyone who's ever spent time with me outdoors.