Thoughts Before Bed

I never thought about it much before, but it's really beautiful how certain things can hold so many memories. So small, for example, that I saw those things that you stick on the sides on corn-on-the-cob earlier on TV and it reminded me of my childhood... Of how my mom had these ones shaped like cows and pigs and I could never make up my mind so I would use one of both.

I think that's the reason why people develop such an emotional attachment to material items. It's not so much that you really love the item, but its what it means to you... What and/or who it reminds you of. I can look around my room right now and tell a story about everything I own whether its a favorite book, a scented candle or a paper fortune; They all hold memories.

I like to pride myself in knowing that I don't [usually] form attachments to a lot of things or people but I know that if I didn't have any, what kind of person would I be then? A person without memories? I think it's human nature to hold on to the past, whether we like it or not. We just have to make the choice for those memories to always be a positive influence so we can always move forward and never back.

The Meaning Of Sex To The Modern Day Woman

I was having lunch with one of my friends yesterday and we somehow got on the topic of how many people we've slept with. She told me she'd slept with 20-30 people and I was so shocked by that number. Why do women feel the need to have so many sexual partners now-a-days?

I realize that men feel the need to because of their high testosterone levels, but women generally have low testosterone levels and are driven by estrogen, thus making their decision to sleep with someone a little more weighted. So why all the meaningless sex, ladies?

I've talked to countless women growing up about this issue, and the answer is really very simple; they feel pressured. When they're on a date and want a little action but don't want to go all the way, women end up feeling like there's no other option. I've been in that position before myself I know how frightening it can be to say "no" and wonder how he's going to react (sometimes violently), but you know what? It's your body and you can do what you want (and don't want) with it. If he's really into you and respects you, he won't be upset if you don't want to sleep with him right away. Everyone knows that good things come to those who wait.

Second Class America

I normally wouldn't post something so personal and forward, but I feel that this is an important topic. 

This is how my night started: I'm slightly intoxicated, heading from a local bar to a pizza pub, I'm waiting in line with two of my close friends (both male) when a man walks in and starts to molest me in front of everyone. His arms are wrapped around my body so tight I can't move; One hand on my breast and another on my groin. His lips press against any part of skin he can find all while I'm waiting in line for a slice of pizza. No one does anything. Everyone stared at me as I looked at them in horror and tried to break free. 

The only "justice" I recieved was a box of free pizza and a shot of whiskey. 

Later on, my friend looks at me and says " I don't know why women expect equality when they get so upset about getting fondled in public. I wouldn't be upset about it".

Please hold my hair while I vomit the fires of hell.

What is wrong with men? Not all men, obviously, but at least the bunch I saw tonight. I'm not fighting for equality right now, though it's a subject of great importance, I'm simply stating that if a human is being attacked by another human you help them. Man or woman. 

I've never been so angry and so hurt... Luckily another woman stepped up and helped me. 

Suckerpunch

I've come to the conclusion that I cannot be left alone with my thoughts, even during a movie. I'm literally sitting in a comedy right now and all I can think about is how backwards it is that mankind has fabricated such a thing as, time. I was watching a scene that included a group of men getting plastered and fucking hookers, and the only thing that held my attention long enough were the series of clocks in the background. 

But seriously, the concept of time is so baffling to me. Why would anyone want such a scheduled life or to put a limit on a frame of time? Rarely does time bring positivity to someone's life. I find that it only brings stress, anxiety and depression. 

Time is a cage and we are animals. 

My Brain Is On Adderall

I have so much on my mind and so much I want to share with you guys but I've been bottling up my thoughts for days now. It's become a winter vortex here in Chicago and it's pushed me back and forth between a state of depression and absolute delirium. I feel inspired now because in the midst of my hibernation I've reconnected with a few old friends, and I've made a couple new ones as well who are like-minded and it's comforting.

A few weeks ago I began reading a book called "Classic Asian Philosophy" by Joel Kupperman; It was a hand-me-down from my room mate and I can't put it down. The first chapter or two are all about The Upanishads, which before now I knew little to nothing about. To put it bluntly, the book has blown my mind. I've learned the difference between "joy" and "pleasure" and I've been made aware that everything we know is exactly the same when you take away It's personality or the quantity. It's given me such a more peaceful outlook on life and I feel less anxious in my chaotic world.

I've also been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've realized that basically all of my plans are not relevant anymore. I have a new outlook and I have become more aware of what it is I really want in life and I was making it so complicated -- Life should be simple.

Also, this meditation video I found is seriously the best I've come across so far. I highly recommend trying it if you're a beginner. It's very slow and has little direction, which I like. Just keep yourself open minded and sit comfortably:

A Thursday In My Head

"What's your greatest fear?"

It's a common question asked on first dates, classroom orientations, job interviews... I asked myself this question this morning and after much thinking, I've chosen happiness  and I'll explain why.

When you've reached complete happiness, that's when you have the most to lose. Happiness is scary because its ever changing and it isn't forever. You never want it to end but you know that at any given moment, you can lose that feeling and it's scary.

I don't mean for that to sound so morbid but it's just a reminder that nothing is set and stone and so it's important to live out every moment to the fullest and like its your last. It irks me to no end when I hear people use the excuse, "I have time. I'll do it next week, month, etc" when pushing something off. Time moves so quickly; why wait?

"Take me to a place where time doesn't exist, 

Where we don't speak because everyone listens,

Only there will I understand what I now may know"

Free People Love Stories

So I was just scanning through the Free People blog and I came across a new edition entitled: Free People Love Stories. I don't know how many they will be posting or if there are others, but this one in particular spoke to me because this couple is basically a real life version of... My dream partnership I guess? They just travel together and live so simply.

Anyway here's the video from the website and I strongly encourage you to read the story that accompanies it as well; It's really inspiring. Enjoy! :-)