The Hookup Culture According To Twenty-Somethings

By definition (via Wiki), "the hookup culture" is one that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters focused on physical pleasure without necessarily including emotional bonding. It is also referred to by the media as moral panic.
If I had to self-define a hookup it would be in the same manner that every other twenty-something I know would describe it as: I met this attractive person who could, for one time only, cure my sexual frustration without an added emotional attachment. What more do I need?
In modern times (at least in America) it's becoming increasingly popular for college students, or simply that age group, to engage in hookups or casual dating instead of actual relationships. I've recently hopped on the Tinder bandwagon (against previous wishes) because I'm starting to realize that maybe meeting people online isn't the work of the devil, when done safely. For those of you who live in a hole in the ground and haven't gotten the Tinder app, it's for matchmaking, but does it in a different way than other apps. It's connected to your Facebook account, not to release any information, but it pulls your friends and interests so you know before you even talk to someone how much you have in common. This, of course, only works if you actually update your Facebook. Tinder, otherwise, will be quite the superficial experience for you as you simply swipe left for "yes" or right for "no" based on people's physical appearances. Only if they find you attractive as well can you actually communicate.

Feel free to share your Tinder stories via the comment section or by email. I'd love to hear and maybe it'll give me some guts to actually meet someone. 

Casting Call

So, here's the deal. I'm going to live in a van for a while and road trip and the only good way I can think of to make money is sell stuff at farmers markets on the way or sell crafts online. 

Anyway, who wants to join me? 

I'm super fed up with my life right now and just need to stop working my dead end job. 

That is all. 

Hey, I'm In A Video

From The Waves from Ryan Scott Solava on Vimeo.

Check out the images and story on Ryan's website!

Ballad To The One I Haven't Met Yet

Ballad To The One I Haven't Met Yet (Or maybe I have?)

 

Growing up, I thought it was normal to have an idea of "the perfect boy" and to have a list of the perfect characteristics of that person and a tucked away file in your head of how every perfect moment would play out. So I got a little older, dated some not so perfect people and decided, "You know what? There's no such thing as perfect. You just have to learn to deal." So then I dated some more not so perfect people and was totally OK with it for a while because I didn't want to over-react.
I've recently revisited the idea of having a list -- As correct as I was about there not being a perfect someone out there, I was missing the fact that there is, however, a certain way I deserve to be treated and a certain amount of "deal breakers" that I simply cannot look past.
So here's to you, kid; whoever you are:
I will spend a lifetime getting to know the ins and outs of you, but I do know that you love me for me and never want to change a hair on my head. You share my passion of traveling and meeting new people because you are so open-minded and we feed off of each others good karma. We make a good team because neither of us like to make plans -- The only plan we need is happiness and the definition of that will change as we grow older and wiser together. Our strengths and weaknesses compliment each other in such a unique way that it will be considered an art form in our eyes. We don't need a home because the only home we need is simply wherever we are together. We practice patience and appreciation for what the world puts forth naturally and give it back like it's our job. We fill each others sorrows with our words because we know that our spirits are strong. We never fear death because each day is to be lived to the fullest extent possible and we never forget to explore both our surroundings and our minds.
 Until then, keep on as you have been and I'll do the same. I expect that I'll have some sort of feeling when I meet you that will match the same feeling you're having. I know that life isn't a Disney movie but there is some magic in all of us, right? For all I know I see you every day and I'm just not ready to accept it yet.

So see ya around I guess?

Spoiler Alert

I went and saw The Spectacular Now last night with two of my friends and I've been in such a weird mood ever since.

It was a phenomenal film, I definitely recommend seeing it, but it just hit me so close to home; not only with the main character's family issues but with his internal emotional issues as well. 

In the movie he keeps searching for the answer to a generic college essay question, "describe a hardship you've had to overcome, etc" and he really struggled with it because he realizes that the hardship he's facing is himself. 

I didn't have to answer that question when applying for school, but if I did that would definitely be my answer as well.
I am my life's biggest hardship. I am the thing standing in the way of my own happiness.
I guess I feel like I'm the guy from the Into the Wild story except in the end he realized that life is about who you share it with but I feel like I need to find a way to be happy with myself first because if I'm only happy because of a person I'm with, I will be miserable and lost when they're gone and I don't want to be that weak.
I know that if I find myself questioning if I'm happy or not, it means I'm probably not... The only time I don't think about it is if I'm traveling or if I immerse myself in the daily grind (work, pay bills, sleep, work, pay bills, sleep) and so I don't have time to think about my feelings, which isn't healthy either. I'm just always watching my life through someone else's eyes, waiting for my turn to live it. I need to find a way to get to that point.
I might sound crazy, but I know I can't be the only person going through this if theres a damn movie about it that I just saw. Clearly whoever wrote The Spectacular Now knows whats up.


Photo by yours truly.

Things Everyone Does When Falling In Love

So you've met "the one" and he/she's somehow different than the 20 other "the one's" before them, right? You tell yourself you've never ever felt this way before (yadda yadda) but let's get real; you're doing the same generic moves that you and every hopeless romantic before you has done.

You act like they're not a big deal
Your best friend see's you the day after your big date and asks how how it went. You reply with, "Oh, you mean the hang-out with whatshisface? It was pretty cool I guess".

You check your zodiac compatibility
Seriously, you can't mess with the universe. Nothing says, "delusional love-at-first-sight" like a good horoscope match.   

Social network profile stalking
So you've already established that they're your soul mate, so now you just need a daily reminder that they're just so good looking.

You crawl in to a love-cocoon phase
Think I just made that up? I did, but it doesn't make it any less true. A love-cocoon is what you call the scenario where everyone you know is leaving you voice mails and texts and they finally find you rolled up with whatshisface (has it really been 13 hours?) just watching tv and eating pizza in bed. What's more important than that? Going to work?

Filling your journal with pages about them
Oh man, we just had the best date ever; I must write every detail down so that I don't forget! (as if that would ever happen).  

Staying up all night
All of a sudden you're so pumped about being in love you can't get them out of your mind and every day you see them feels like Christmas and they're the gift you begged your parents for all year, then every time you close your eyes you hear Aerosmith singing "And I don't wanna miss a thingggg". Amirite?

These Eyes Wander

I've been taking part in a lot of doing and a lot of thinking lately, but when it comes to just simply being I become increasingly aware that I don't fit into this life I'm living.
By that I mean that I don't see myself as a part of the puzzle that is the day-to-day life so many people I know are living. It's a constant rat-race; a constant struggle and need to one-up the person sitting next to you. It's everyone thinking that the goal of life is to fit into this mold that is our current society.
It would be a shame to give up my dream of modeling, but I sometimes think I would be much happier living out my other dream: being completely free. I simply want to exist. I don't want to call one specific place home and I don't want any specific sort of career. I want to drift with the wind and meet so many people and go so many places, even if that means doing it alone.
When I tell my friends and family this, most of them ask questions like, "You don't ever want to 'settle down'?" or "What about college?".
To answer the first question: I suppose I would like to settle down in a sense if I met the right person. The problem is, not to sound cynical, I can't imagine that there is a person out there who could truly handle myself and my lifestyle.
To answer the second: I don't need a piece of paper that says I sat through four years of lectures to be considered intelligent.

Anyway, I'm thinking about putting together a trip (to nowhere in particular) and if anyone would like to join me or throw out ideas please feel free to send me an email or comment below.

Photo by myself