My Last Post

To anyone who still follows this blog, I sincerely apologize for falling off the face of the earth. I went through some sort of quarter-life thing and lost all momentum to write.

To mark a new stage in my life, I have created a new blog which I urge you to follow if you are not yet sick of me: girlwhocrieswolf.wordpress.com/

I hope to post at least twice a month to start and again, I really appreciate everyones support over the years.

Cheers!

Madison Square Park

I heard a quote yesterday that said a writer has experienced enough in their life by the time they're 20 to last a lifetime. While that may be true, I feel that now I am a different person entirely and should write in my current mindset, right?

This quote either doesn't resonate with me because I am in complete and utter denial of the last 21 years of my life, or I am not a writer of any sort and I'm nothing but an asshole with a notebook on a bench in Madison Square Park.

 

  

My headphones play the sound of my favorite song. 

They play the sound of rustling leaves on the busy sidewalk. 

They play the sound of lovers holding hands in the park. 

In the streets behind me, my headphones play a sweet lullaby sung from car engines and bicycles whirring. 

As the city hums this sweet tune, I stay here recording it's thoughts. 

For the city is much wiser than I and my headphones are my seeing eye. 

Another Unfinished Thought

11:33pm -- The exact moment my lips unwillingly part from yours.
A dull pain deep in my chest brought on by the closing of subway doors and screeching of train gears turns more agonizing by the second.
I close my eyes so that the sight of you might remain fresh in my mind but when they open, my memory has already begun to fade.
The empty streets mourn your loss as I pull my sweater tight around me.
Sorrow paints my eyes with goodbyes...
I'm likely to drown.

A Writers End

I do a sort of writing exercise with myself weekly; I pick any object and try to write about it as if I'm describing it to someone who has never seen or heard of it before. However, I read this quote (above) today and it made me realize that there are a lot of things that we just can't accurately describe.

Writers are sort of explorers in the sense that they are always looking for new ways of arranging the language for others to better understand and they are inventing new words so that we can describe more things, but I think its really beautiful that we can't put everything into words. It means that some things in life can't be fully explored through writing alone. Nothing will ever be just like experiencing it in person and you can never gain back a moment that you've lost.

Center of the Universe

Well, I've finally finished out my life-long dream of moving to NYC and pursuing my career in fashion. Cliche, I know, and what's worse is the painful truth I've come to realize is paired with this kind of life. From the outside looking in it seems lavish; All the parties (VIP of course), a rent-free loft with an amazing view and to put it simply (aside from my regular modeling work), I make money by looking pretty at clubs and events.I wanted to be a part of this life for so long and now that I have it, I'm not sure what to do with it.

When I'm not working or going to events, I realize how alone I actually am. I'm successful in my career and I've made all of these selfish decisions to get me here and now I get to enjoy it by myself. I've become the person I hate but at the same time, I know I need this life. I've never lived a life of simplicity and I know that that isn't what I want either.

I guess this is growing up. 

Even My Note Pad Thinks I'm Crazy

Sometimes I think of things that only my notepad can see but now I'm sharing them with all of you. Why? I'm not sure, but enjoy anyway.

FP Love Stories

I remember sharing the very first video from this series on Free People's blog and I've been keeping up with all the beautiful stories they post. I really liked this one I saw today because... Well just watch it. You won't be sorry.

You can check out the rest of the story that accompanies the video here. Enjoy!