Another Unfinished Thought

11:33pm -- The exact moment my lips unwillingly part from yours.
A dull pain deep in my chest brought on by the closing of subway doors and screeching of train gears turns more agonizing by the second.
I close my eyes so that the sight of you might remain fresh in my mind but when they open, my memory has already begun to fade.
The empty streets mourn your loss as I pull my sweater tight around me.
Sorrow paints my eyes with goodbyes...
I'm likely to drown.

A Writers End

I do a sort of writing exercise with myself weekly; I pick any object and try to write about it as if I'm describing it to someone who has never seen or heard of it before. However, I read this quote (above) today and it made me realize that there are a lot of things that we just can't accurately describe.

Writers are sort of explorers in the sense that they are always looking for new ways of arranging the language for others to better understand and they are inventing new words so that we can describe more things, but I think its really beautiful that we can't put everything into words. It means that some things in life can't be fully explored through writing alone. Nothing will ever be just like experiencing it in person and you can never gain back a moment that you've lost.

Center of the Universe

Well, I've finally finished out my life-long dream of moving to NYC and pursuing my career in fashion. Cliche, I know, and what's worse is the painful truth I've come to realize is paired with this kind of life. From the outside looking in it seems lavish; All the parties (VIP of course), a rent-free loft with an amazing view and to put it simply (aside from my regular modeling work), I make money by looking pretty at clubs and events.I wanted to be a part of this life for so long and now that I have it, I'm not sure what to do with it.

When I'm not working or going to events, I realize how alone I actually am. I'm successful in my career and I've made all of these selfish decisions to get me here and now I get to enjoy it by myself. I've become the person I hate but at the same time, I know I need this life. I've never lived a life of simplicity and I know that that isn't what I want either.

I guess this is growing up. 

Even My Note Pad Thinks I'm Crazy

Sometimes I think of things that only my notepad can see but now I'm sharing them with all of you. Why? I'm not sure, but enjoy anyway.

FP Love Stories

I remember sharing the very first video from this series on Free People's blog and I've been keeping up with all the beautiful stories they post. I really liked this one I saw today because... Well just watch it. You won't be sorry.

You can check out the rest of the story that accompanies the video here. Enjoy!

Reasons Why Modeling Is The Least Glamorous Job. Ever.

Your bank account is perpetually in the negative

Yeah, some of your jobs pay a lot but you also owe your agency money that you haven't even made yet because of that one time they flew you to France or when they paid for your first photo shoot. The only thing that kind of makes up for it is all the free swag you collect and bottle service at all the clubs. 

Forget having a relationship 

Picture this: You and your boyfriend/girlfriend are having a great time celebrating your one year anniversary. You're at the park having a picnic and discussing your exciting vacation plans when your phone rings; It's your agent telling you that you have this really exciting job offer on Mars and have to leave tomorrow morning. Well now what? 

Living arrangements resemble a cross between the Black Market and your college dorm

When you see a model's Twitter update that says something like: "Flying to Barcelona this morning for this really amazing fashion show you'll never get to go to #yolo" you usually assume she's flying first class and ordering room service every day of the trip. The harsh reality is (most of the time) you're basically staying in a hostel just for models. There's a shared room with 2-4 girls on bunk beds covered in Fossil bags, 7 inch heels and whatever latest diet fad can be diluted in a glass of water.

Everyone wants you to burn in a fire 

Not literally (I hope) but the competition is real. There is no such thing as having model BBF's... Not really anyway. Also, can we discuss the snoodiness that goes on a fashion shows? Literally everyone in the industry hates you, except for that one time you shared your diet Coke with Lisa. 

Body images are always changing 

One year it will be size 2, blond and tight lips and the next its size 00, afro and bushy eye brows.  How can anyone expect to keep up with that? When they say a model has to be a chameleon, they mean it. 

Photo Set

Photos by Mark Reyes

Model Alexandra Pinheiro