Thursday, April 11, 2013

Pinot Noir

I'm about half a bottle of wine into my night and I believe I've just struck gold.

You've just read that sentence and you're probably thinking, "this girl just won the lottery". I hate to say that you're wrong, but you are.

However, long-term followers will know that I'm always battling with this inner conflict between my career and my love life. I feel constantly guilty because after the last time I chose someone over my career (which ended poorly) I know this time it has to be me. I realized something that doesn't change that necessarily, but rather sheds a new light on the subject and here it is:

Success means absolutely nothing if you have no one to share it with.

You guys are great, but I have this frightening vision of the first time I walk NY Fashion week and each night I return to my empty apartment and blog about how great it was because I have no one higher on my list to share my feelings with. It's a depressing thought, I think.

It's like on one end of the scale, I have this dream that is more important to me than pretty much everything.

On the other end, I'm completely human. I want to be loved. I want to share my heart and my whole life with someone because we're just made that way and I can't help it.

The battle isn't really any easier after my new found "gold" but it does provide a little more perspective. 

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