Sunday, December 18, 2011

Time For A Change

So, I realize that I haven't posted a while, particularly on my terrible dating skills and there's a reason for that. One of my dates actually went well and I'm stickin' with it. I also realize that no one wants to read about how good someone's love life is, so that's out.
New Year's Resolution #2 (would be #3 if #1 wasn't cancelled): Don't be a pussy. Be as straight up as possible.
I'm usually a no bullshit person. I tell people what I think about them no matter what. I'm not afraid to hurt other people's feelings; I am however afraid to hurt my own feelings. Well not anymore. That's just going to hold me back from what I want, and from my other resolution to not do anything that doesn't make me happy. Sometimes to have to take risks to get what you want.
Also, I think I'm going to start writing again. I want to actually finish a novel. I'm gonna start fresh and actually finish it. I never finish anything. I'm gonna do work! Done.
This year's gonna be great.
Now, 2012 is apparently supposed to be our last year so I decided to do some research on that, just out of curiosity. Here's what I found:

  • The last official day is December 21, 2012. So we have a year, 2 days and about 8.5 hours left.
  • According to Hindu cosmology, December 21st represents "the age of darkness" or "Kali Yuga". What this means is that, in their culture, there is an imbalance in the three forces of God: Brahma (creative), Vishnu (protective) and Mahesh (destructive). The balance has apparently tilted 75% in favor of the Mahesh. The Mahesh force cannot reach over 75% or there will be a total imbalance, which will be reached by December 21st. In their minds, it is man alone that caused this damage, therefor will take out their own during a predicted World War 3. Mankind will survive, but according to the Hindu, will never be like it is now. There will be a new beginning. 
  • Salt Lake Tribune posted an article not too long ago regarding a Mayan tablet found in the Tortuguero in the Gulf coast state in Tobasco. They also referenced a new finding; a brick found at the Comalcalco. The text translates to "he will descend from the sky"; the date translating also to December 21, 2012. 
  • According to WLKY (Louisville, Kentucky), the damage has already begun; the floods in Mississippi, the tsunami in Japan, the worst outbreak of tornadoes in over 50 years. Relating to the Mayan calendar, they believed (along with the Egyptians, and Aztecs of the time) that they could gain authority and predict the future through the sky. The Mayans knew how to read the cycles of the Moon and Venus better than anyone in this time period (about 300-800 A.D.). I, for one, am a firm believer in reading the sky. 
What would you do if it was your last day on Earth?


Sunday, December 4, 2011

Random Ranting

I like how when you have an injury people treat you like you have the plague. So, I have a severe burn on my knee, not a big deal, right? I guess not, because everywhere I've gone the last couple days no one will look me in the eye or talk to me. No one will even sit by me on the bus. Also, I've had my Christmas party planned for two months and this douche decided to plan a show on the same day and everyone thinks i'm a bitch for not going and being supportive. Uh, hello! I'm the one who made it in advance, not the week before! Have some class. 

Burnt knee limitations:
  • Can't stand.
  • Can't walk.
  • Can't put on pants.
  • Can't move my leg.
  • Can't bathe easily.
  • Can't go in public.
  • Can't think of a good excuse for why it's there.
  • If I work tomorrow I will die.
  • Fuck my life.
  • I need to see a doctor.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Date Number Three

So, after wimping out for a week I decided to take my own advice and just go for it... ask my co-worker out... via Facebook. Still slightly wimpy, but it gets the job done. After awkwardly asking him to a club (using far too many "uh's" and "um's" might I add) when I didn't know a single thing about him or even if he was interested, I immediately wished that I could hack into Facebook and take back the message. To my surprise, about an hour later he replied with a yes and I jumped around a very public area for far too long and nearly pissed my pants... I was just a tad bit excited. No big deal. Anyway, after running through everything in my head, he shows up and the only thing that comes to mind is, "Fuck, why did I do this? This is such an awkward first date." Which, it was awkward at first, especially after I head-butted him three times and violently threw his drink from his hand... on accident of course. Being about as graceful as a peg-legged ballerina, I naturally wanted to crawl into a hole and die. As the night progressed, I became more and more comfortable and dare I say it, enjoyed myself. Yes, he didn't puke on me or decide to randomly strip his clothes... until later that is. My "no second dates" rule may be overlooked just this once. Oh, and his name is Andrew*.

Three good things about this date:

  1. I won't have to deal with one-word conversations at work because he turned me down.
  2. I was actually nervous versus only being there because it's my resolution.
  3. He 's still talking to me, which is usually a good sign that it wasn't just a one-night stand.
Two bad things about this date:
  1. I looked like a hot mess afterwards, minus the hot.
  2. He drove away before I got in my house knowing that I didn't have a key.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Just An Addition

I saw this a little while ago and it really made me think, especially after my last post. I'm definitely one of those people he's talking about and it's depressing... But if I wasn't one of those people, who would I be? I mean, we live in a material world, right? I just want to be a beach bum already...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Another Resolution

Everywhere I've gone lately, all I hear is people complaining about how miserable they are but they don't try to change it for whatever reason. Now, I know there are circumstances where you simply don't have a choice, but then theres just the fear of taking action. I try to live my life like I'm going to die tomorrow (metaphorically of course). It sounds cheesy, but it works for me. I literally have zero social life and I never leave work it seems like, but I try to do something on my bucket list as often as possible (I have an extremely long list), and something for myself every day... Even if it's making fried chicken seasoned with ten pounds of cumin before I go to bed. I tend to be overly optimistic about everything, and let myself down a lot, but I think it makes me who I am. I know I may not even live to be middle aged, not to sound morbid, but I need to keep pushing forward. So heres my second resolution; I won't do anything that doesn't make me happy. Done deal.

A few things on my list that I haven't completed: travel as many places as I can fit, go skinny dipping, go sky diving, swim with the whales, catch the bouquet at a wedding, go a whole day without hurting myself, dive off of a HUGE cliff, surf pipe, go camping, witness an eclipse, find Aries in the sky, go horseback riding on the beach, swim across the English Channel,  learn a language, perform as a street musician, climb Mount McKinley, learn to clog, swim with sharks, see a polar bear in person, go paragliding, fly a plane, ride the Trans-siberian Railway, go train hopping, ride a dune buggy through the   desert, volunteer in a third-world country, go to the opera house in Sydney, write a novel, go to an Anna Sui fashion show, learn to snowboard, see the Monalisa, meet the Dalai Lama, spend a whole day eating and listening to tunes in New Orleans, witness New Years Eve on Times Square in New York City, gamble and win in Las Vegas, go on a cruise, learn to sail, go to the Super Bowl, experience tears of joy, experience a "movie kiss", be a beach bum for any amount of time. 

The list goes on and on and on. :)

Date Number Two

Karma decided to let me enjoy myself for once, so yes, I had a good night. Actually, it was nearly perfect until Reginald* decided he was "hot" at took off his pants. I didn't think much of it, though I was rather shocked by how forward he was... Like, "well, I took you out for 45 minutes, so I think we know each other pretty well now... It's perfectly fine for us to sit around naked". Also, the movie we watched was no doubt the most boring I'd ever seen (which I'm sure was on purpose); Clerks. Maybe I just have a weird taste in movies, but I prefer the ones that actually have a plot. I don't want this to turn into a movie review, but come on. All it was is two guys who sit around in a Gas Station and talk about their lives. I was so bored out of my mind that to keep myself from also stripping down, I took mental notes about things I noticed during the movie, like that cigarettes were only four dollars in the 80's and that the counter lined up perfectly with the diagonal lines in the ceiling tiles.

Three good things about this date:
  1. He offered me his jacket while we were outside, which is a first for me.
  2. The Italian soda I had was really really good.
  3. He didn't puke on me or deck me in the face.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Date Number One

Just got back from my date with Wade* (Yes, i'm going to choose the most ridiculous names possible) and interesting is an understatement. I apparently met him once before while drunk at his house party and he thought it would be a good idea to relive that moment... By puking in my lap. No, i'm not joking. When he came to pick me up from work he was already drunk and no I didn't offer to drive because with my driving skills (or lack of) I was better off with him driving under the influence. Anyway, we get to his house, he shows me around and not like he wasn't wasted enough, we light up the huge bong on the coffee table and put in Fight Club. Now there are two things majorly wrong with this picture; one being that Fight Club makes absolutely no sense when you're high, and two being that when he "smoothly" put his arm around my shoulders he decked me in the face, shortly after passing out in my lap while spewing leftovers on my freshly laundered jeans. 
Three good things about this date:
  1. I wasn't attacked by rabid, hungry dogs while walking home with regurgitated food on my pants.
  2. The bruise on my face is only slight and can easily be covered with make-up.
  3. His pride will remain in tact because he most likely won't remember a single thing. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

New Years Resolution- Early

After reading an article on about women who are too picky (it had a list of the signs), I actually started to feel bad about how I treat guys. I mean, they can't all be jerks, right? So i'm making a pact: I will go an a date with EVERY guy that asks me out (excluding creepers and guys over 25) and post about it listing at least 3 good things about the date. For now, there's no guarantee on a second date, but that may be my next resolution? We'll see how it goes.

***Names will be changed

(And no, this blog will not solely be focused on my love life, or lack of, I just got on the topic tonight after a friend asked me to explain the "friend zone" to him. Perhaps I'll start a career as a love guru. Not.)

Friday, November 11, 2011

An Introduction.

Let me start off by discussing why I chose the title I did. This originally was the title of a book I was writing by, you guessed it, a typewriter. I thought it would add a little something to it, but then I realized that I spend so much time online and so much time writing (mostly in my journal), that I might as well just put it online; i'm mostly an open book anyway. Though, this doesn't mean that I am going to display every little event that happens. Some things are a little too personal to put online. 
Anyway, I was sitting at the bus stop with my roommate a while ago, and while waiting we were trying to figure out why it is that we are attracted to complete jerks. Now, I can't speak on behalf of all girls, but here are some of the reasons we came up with:
  • If a guy is too nice, he seems too into us and it's a turn-off. If he seems unapproachable or unavailable he's instantly more attractive because women like "the chase". Naturally, we want what we can't have. 
  • He seems like he has everything figured out and he's not just caught up on emotions. It makes us feel safe. 
  • When he's around other girls, (constantly), even if it's his sister, it makes us jealous. Which goes back to wanting what we can't have. 
On the other hand, we don't want guys to remain a jerk. It's just enough to catch our attention. Really what we want is the feeling of achievement when we "change" him into a better man. Let's face it, jerks aren't for the long run, just for the now. I'm finding now that I'm getting older, I want a guy that's gonna be around for a while, but i'm still initially attracted to the guys that treat me like shit.
Girls: Agree or disagree? Guys: Any comments are welcome