Saturday, September 29, 2012

Disaster Date Number Five

It's 7:31 and I just walked away from my date, which started about 25 minutes ago. I know, because I was staring at the clock tick by with every arm flex and filthy word that spilled from his disgusting mouth. I assure you , I'm not being dramatic.
This guy was so stuck on himself, I found it difficult to hold back the vomit working its way up my throat. And to top it off, he decided to plant a big one on me after confessing how in love I was with him (or so he thought). To quote him: "I can see it in your eyes that you want me and you can't stab it". There are many ways I would had liked to respond to that, but I just decided to tell him I had a family emergency. I then preceded to find the nearest restroom so that I could brush my teeth after that awful mouth-to-mouth encounter.
Someone needs to tell me what I can change about myself so that I don't attract these kinds of men. -_-

Vogue Italia

Guess who got published on Vogue Italia yesterday! Me! Check it out!!!

Well that's all I have for you today! Enjoy! ^.^

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Date Number: ?

Out of pure laziness, I will not look to see where I left off with my poor dating skills; I believe it was four or five.
Back to my dating rule again, because I'm tired of getting hurt as a result from absolute stupidity.
Anyway, so my ex ex ex decides to ask me on a date last night. I make the worst decision and agree to meet him for dinner, and it turns into an auction for him and his friends to see who can win me into their bed. So I make a rash decision, and tell everyone I've converted to a lesbian. I now realize what a bad idea that was, because news travels fast here and now I'm "the lesbian girl". Fantastic. God, I know how to pick 'em.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Sunshine Daydream

I've just moved in with my parents in Wisconsin until school starts in January and I couldn't have made a larger mistake. It's freezing and I never thought I'd miss the allure of turning on the tv and not knowing what's on. We have no tv, no Internet and my phone only works when it wants to. I've only been here three days and the overcast weather has made me that much more depressed than I was already. I know it will improve with time, but I really can't wait to get out of town and visit my best friend. It's much needed.
Well, aside from that, I don't have much for you other than my now lack of a love life. It's karma I tell you!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Girl Dictionary For Dummies

Let's face it, not even a team of girls could write a dictionary on what girls mean, but here are some basics for you sad fellows who haven't caught on yet. Hint: We rarely mean what we say.

It's simple,

Yes: No
Maybe: Yes
No: Maybe

Good? Moving on...

We need to talk: You did something wrong and you should run for the hills.

Go ahead: I don't want you to

Are you listening to me: You're already dead. Leave and return with flowers

I don't know: I do know and I want to talk about it, but I want you to ask me to

Don't worry about it: You should definitely worry about it

I'm tired: It's cuddle time

I'm cold: It's cuddle time

Let's watch a movie: It's cuddle time

I look fat: Nothing you say will be the right answer. Leave and return with flowers

I like your shirt: Let's have sex

I'm going to assume a guy dictionary would be much simpler. Enjoy! ^.^

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Letters Anonymous

So, here's the deal. I have this major issue involving not being able to hold in whats on my mind (as you know from reading my numerous "venting" posts) and I've been holding in all these things I want to say to this guy but I'm too much of a wimp to actually bring it up. In the past, I have been pretty gutsy in the things I say to him, but this time I'm afraid its partly too mean of me to say. Anyway, I apologize for always getting too personal and just uninteresting on my posts sometimes, but if I don't tell someone, I'll tell him and I'm not ready for that right now.

Dear so-and-so,

I've been holding in a lot that I want to ask/tell you lately because frankly, I'm a massive wimp and you know it. First off, during our vacation together you treated me like I was the plague the majority of the time and it actually seemed to get worse after I mentioned something to you. I know you said you were busy, but in reality, no one is too busy to acknowledge their, as you call it, "significant others" existence. You actually kind of ran away from me in an indirect sort of way when I bid you goodbye at the shuttle station. I may be wrong, but I believe that's exactly how you treat someone you wish would fall off the face of the earth.
I know all of that was a tad bit over-dramatic; I know we did talk a few times and I enjoyed your company when you decided to grace me with your presence. I did, however, think about switching your ticket just so I wouldn't feel like dying, but I told myself that would be rash and I could very well be over-reacting.
Second, assuming I'm wrong about all of this, you have referred to yourself as my boyfriend (present and future tenses) a few times and for whatever reason I chose to ignore it, but if that's what you think you are, you should think about actually discussing that with me or maybe just asking me since you're so concerned with being a gentleman. I do think I would enjoy not just being that chick you see every once in a blue moon though.
Now, after thinking about this for weeks, I do take blame for a lot of our miscommunication. I do struggle to trust people and I know I could be more honest with you than I am. You really do sort of freak me out in a good way, I suppose. I'm not a "relationship" kind of person, but for whatever reason I (up until now) feel extremely comfortable with you and genuinely think you're the most wonderful person. I also could have been more specific when I addressed the situation during our trip and saved myself a lot of, "Am I doing something wrong?" and "don't cry. don't cry. don't cry". 
Anyway, I was really hurt by it and I didn't want to say all of this and make you feel bad, but I would appreciate an honest response as to how you feel and if that may not be what I want to hear, tell me anyway so you aren't leading me on; That will only make things worse for me.


So, If I ever work up the guts, that's pretty much what I want to say. I feel awfully mean just typing those things but my new goal was to be less of a doormat after all. Apologies for yet another venting post!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

I've started to realize that kindness can be one of the worst qualities a person can possess. When you're too kind I find that (in my case) people take advantage of you. They know you'll always be there for them but they never have to be there for you. They know that you'll put up with just about anything to keep the peace. I've made a sort of short-term goal to try and be more selfish. I know that may sound absolutely ridiculous, but I'm wondering if I'd be more happy if I found the happy-medium. There is a right amount of kindness and selfishness I'm sure.

On a side note, in honor of New York Fashion Week, I wanted to highlight some of my favorite pieces from various collections I've been seeing this week.

For starters: The Spring 2013 ready-to-wear collection from Badgley Mischka is TO DIE FOR. I can honestly say that if I had an extra two grand lying around, I would spend it on one of these gowns (after purchasing my Burberry coat of course) in a heart beat. Specifically the one on the left.

Leave it to Jason Wu to successfully combine feminine and rocker, leaving us with an unforgettable line for spring. Here are my favorite pieces:

One dress in particular caught my eye from Max Azria:

Custo Barcelona's line was packed full of cool prints, sequins, lace and leather. Here's my favorite:

These are but a very small amount of the wonderful collections shown at  NYFW and I can't wait to see what else is coming. 

Enjoy! ^.^

Monday, September 3, 2012

Sad Attempt At Vlogging

This is me attempting to not look stupid in a video. I also don't know why I look so pale... and slightly purple. 
Enjoy! ^.^

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Dream Catcher

She sleeps alone, finding her nightly pilgrimage setting with the rising of the sun.
Solar rays light up dust particles that kiss her skin, "Good morning" she says.
His face the first and last thought upon every hour of this day; of every single day.
Perhaps not every hour of every day, but in a sad attempt to serenade him with the beating of her not-so-rhythmic heart, everything seems to become enhanced somehow.
Those empty pockets between her fingers ache as she drums to the beat of every second passing by; Every second brings her closer and for a second her clouded vision subsides at the thought.
Life moves in a slow motion reel, as if when she opens her eyes it's the farthest from Friday she'll ever be.
Monday is her reality and Monday seems to grip her so tightly, she seems to forget she isn't dreaming. She tells herself she isn't dreaming.
Her restless soul moves like sea foam, riding upon the back of every ocean wave bringing her just close enough and pulls her back.
To break free would be an ever so lonely slumber; she choses to remain vulnerable to the pull of the tide.
After all, like her, the tide has a longing for what keeps it in motion.
He moves like the ocean; he comes and goes, enticing her senses and leaving her breathless.
His touch, like a cool whisper of the wind, gently tapping against every corner of her mind.
She bites her now numb lips at the thought of every shiver sent down her spine.
She tells herself she isn't dreaming, but if Friday is ever so pleasant, her dreams must be a rushing whirlwind of Ghirardelli chocolate.
"Unreal" being the understatement that haunts her every moment of every day.
Swallowed in a down casing, she sleeps alone.
Eyes drawn to the moon outside her window, like a moth to a flame, she wonders how, with all this distance, that the goosebumps lining every inch of her body can feel so heavy.
So heavy, like the burden that is Monday, like the burden that keeps her restless only dreaming of Friday when she can, for a moment, feel what its like to be engulfed in his arms.