A great amount of my friends look to me for advice, not on practical matters, but their love lives. I don't pretend to know anything about love, but after much thinking, here's what I do know:
- Sometimes you just need someone to tell you, "everything's gonna be okay". You think you need someone to hold you up, but you really just need reassurance, no matter who it's from.
- I think everyone has a mental list of their "perfect mate", but sometimes you have to give to receive. Unfortunately things don't roll out on a red carpet like your favorite Disney movie. Your dream man or woman is not going to just show up at your doorstep and decide they love you. Really. I mean it.
- Don't hold back your feelings. I'm tired of everyone's bullshit excuse, "well I don't know if he/she likes me yet". Well find out! Tell them how you feel. The worst that can happen is that they don't feel the same way, and if that's whats scaring you; Do you really want to be in a false relationship anyway?
- Don't worry about being nervous. Butterflies are perfectly normal and so are: tripping over your own feet, running your words together, racing hearts, sweaty palms, etc. Those are the good moments and they happen to everyone. EMBRACE IT.
- Let it be. Go with your gut and don't over think everything. The things that often run through our minds, "I shouldn't like them this much already, should I?", "Okay, first date was great. Wait... What does that mean?", "Is it weird that i'm imagining our one-year anniversary right now?", etc. CALM DOWN. If you like them, then go for it. Just to be safe though, don't start planning your first borns name just yet.
- Patience is a virtue. Yes, I know that's the one piece of advice that everyone pushes to the back of their minds, but when it comes to love, shouldn't it be worth the wait? There are no short cuts to places worth going.
- Decide whether it's "a love" you want or simply to "be loved". There is a difference. Just being with someone to occupy your time so you don't feel lonely isn't love. Being with someone because they're the only one you want to be with IS.
- Love yourself before you love others. Seriously, it's a piece of cake. No, bake yourself a cake. Pick a side of your favorite ice cream and perhaps a nice glass of Chardonnay. Take a bubble bath. Dance around the house naked (or in your best underwear). The possibilities are endless. You CAN reach nirvana wearing just socks.
- It's okay to want the Cinematic romance and the grand gestures. I know for a fact that i'm not the only one who wishes my life was like a romantic comedy. It may not be exactly like you imagine, but that moment is worth waiting for. Don't just settle. Soar. Set your sights just a little high, and you'll be surprised with the outcome. Chivalry is most certainly not dead; open your eyes a bit wider.
Additions? Comments? Throw 'em at me.