Saturday, February 25, 2012

Hey Girl Hey

I went and had coffee with my good friend Michael* just a couple days ago and somehow we got on to the topic of weird and unnecessary (in his opinion) things that girls do. I'm going to break down a few things on his list and explain exactly why they are very necessary... And possibly weird.

Weird things that girls do:

  • "Act mad when we [guys] ask what's wrong and say 'nothing'" 
Okay. If something is wrong and we reply with "nothing", it's obviously not nothing and most likely has something to do with you. If it's not your doing, then we're waiting for you to read our minds. Not joking either. If you can't guess, we simply want you to shut up and hold us. Done deal.

  • "Does this dress make me look fat?" 
There is no correct answer to this. You will always be wrong. If you reply with no, then you are automatically lying which means we look fat. If you reply with yes, then it's off with your head. If you say nothing, then you clearly think we look fat and can also turn into an argument as to why you don't hear what we say. Unfortunately, I have no advice for you on this one. 

  • "Girls always go to the bathroom together"
If we go to the bathroom together it's because we have something private to discuss that guys can't hear, and sometimes we actually use the bathroom. There is nothing weird going on and we don't need a babysitter. Just clearin' that up.

  • "They take FOREVER to get ready"
I personally think I can get ready fairly quickly, but if I were given hours, I would take every single minute to get ready. It's not that we're not capable of getting ready sooner, it's just that in our minds, getting ready is often way better than what ever we're getting ready for. It's also a time to mentally prepare. YOU CANT RUSH US or it will literally ruin the entire outing. In a 3 hour period, I'll usually spend about 45 minutes getting ready and the remaining time checking myself in the mirror, dancing to music, playing what i'm going to do/say in my head, checking the time constantly, and whatever else feels right for what ever i'm going to. It's all completely necessary for me to have a good time. 

  • "Girls always dress slutty but then yell at me if I tell them they look slutty"
I think the only time in my life that I look slutty intentionally is if i'm going clubbing. If you're going clubbing you're not going to wear a turtle neck sweater and jeans. Also, we have it in our minds that guys only find us attractive if we're half naked. So when you tell us, "hey you look very slutty tonight", that's like, "you look super hideous and I wouldn't like you if you were the last woman on earth". We just want to hear that we look beautiful/pretty/stunning etc. 

  • "Why do girls own so many different bras and underwear?"
One reason. They're pretty and they make us feel that way as well. If I wore the same bra every day I would feel like Plain Jane. Plus, do you really want to see us in the same get up every time we come over?

  • "Girls say that they want a 'nice guy' but always really want jerks. Hypocrites"
I've definitely posted about this before, but basically, it's not that we don't want "nice guys" it's just that we're initially attracted to the "bad boy". It's just the way it works. It sounds complicated, but really, it's not about being a jerk, it's about being the right amount of cute (sentimental) and mysterious... And a little bit badass/manly (or at least make it seem like you are). We don't want to feel like you'd leave us in the dust if we were put in an unsafe situation. The guy that says everything we want to hear ALL the time just gets a little boring. There's a difference between being a gentleman and being boring. 

  • "Why do girls always tell you the opposite of what they mean and never tell you whats actually on their minds?"
Exactly what I said earlier. We want you to read our mind. We want you to get the hint and figure it out because in some complicated way it means that we're worth it to you. Trust me, I realize how incredibly stupid that sounds, but we're just wired that way. I really do try to just be straight up, and sometimes I am, but most of the time, I talk in riddles just like every other girl. We also think that you talk in riddles too so we over-analyse EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY. So watch how you say things. We have feelings too. 

  • "Girls always act dumb."
Girls who act dumb, usually are dumb or they think that you'll like them better if they're ditzy. We're raised thinking that intelligence makes you lame, though we outgrow that as we get older (most of us do anyway).

Alright, well that's enough for this post. It was actually quite entertaining to talk about weird things that girls do, and some that I do as well. Have any to add? Drop a comment.

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