Thursday, October 4, 2012

The Fifteen Month Year

In case you're wondering which year has fifteen months, it's 2013 and it only exists in my head. As always, I've decided to make my New Years resolution list a couple months early. Anyway, who says I have to wait until January to set goals for myself? That's just silly.
So here's my list:

  1. Work out at least twice a week
  2. Have enough money for bills and for fun
  3. Do great in school
  4. Be more open with people
  5. Get signed by an agency 
  6. Absolutely no "one date then ditch". Stick with one person at a time
Well, that's all I've got at the moment. I'm sure I'll add more before its actually New Years. Enjoy ^.^

I've also been thinking more about how I feel toward so-and-so. I know no one wants to read about my boy problems, but I can't talk to my best friend about it because his only opinion on him is that he's a "d-bag" but has nothing to back that up. I want a real opinion, and not a negative one for no reason at all.
Anyway, I think I eventually want a relationship (yes, I said the "R word" and want to re-enter the dating world). I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel that way, but if that's what I want I should probably say something. I was thinking I didn't want anything "serious" but I have no interest in seeing anyone else (one guy at a time kind of girl) and I would feel terrible if he were to see anyone else. I don't want to just be a flavor and just be "that girl". Anyway, I guess that's kind of what a relationship means in a loose definition; to only see each other, and that's what I want.
On the other hand, if I were to say that to him, I would probably scare him away. I mean, if after eight months of casually dating he hasn't expressed that kind of interest in me, then he probably won't ever right? I don't like to assume the worst, but I try to be realistic as possible so I don't get my hopes up.
After all, the last month has been awful for me thinking I wouldn't see him again and it would be better to avoid that happening again in the future than to just assume it will work out, and then have this happen again a few weeks or months from now. Someone tell me how to "grow some balls" or "man up" or whatever people do when they talk about something frightening.

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