In case you're wondering which year has fifteen months, it's 2013 and it only exists in my head. As always, I've decided to make my New Years resolution list a couple months early. Anyway, who says I have to wait until January to set goals for myself? That's just silly.
So here's my list:
- Work out at least twice a week
- Have enough money for bills and for fun
- Do great in school
- Be more open with people
- Get signed by an agency
- Absolutely no "one date then ditch". Stick with one person at a time
Well, that's all I've got at the moment. I'm sure I'll add more before its actually New Years. Enjoy ^.^
I've also been thinking more about how I feel toward so-and-so. I know no one wants to read about my boy problems, but I can't talk to my best friend about it because his only opinion on him is that he's a "d-bag" but has nothing to back that up. I want a real opinion, and not a negative one for no reason at all.
Anyway, I think I eventually want a relationship (yes, I said the "R word" and want to re-enter the dating world). I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel that way, but if that's what I want I should probably say something. I was thinking I didn't want anything "serious" but I have no interest in seeing anyone else (one guy at a time kind of girl) and I would feel terrible if he were to see anyone else. I don't want to just be a flavor and just be "that girl". Anyway, I guess that's kind of what a relationship means in a loose definition; to only see each other, and that's what I want.
On the other hand, if I were to say that to him, I would probably scare him away. I mean, if after eight months of casually dating he hasn't expressed that kind of interest in me, then he probably won't ever right? I don't like to assume the worst, but I try to be realistic as possible so I don't get my hopes up.
After all, the last month has been awful for me thinking I wouldn't see him again and it would be better to avoid that happening again in the future than to just assume it will work out, and then have this happen again a few weeks or months from now. Someone tell me how to "grow some balls" or "man up" or whatever people do when they talk about something frightening.