Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Sway Me Like The Sea

Figured I'd update my blog while I still have cell phone reception.
I'm currently on my way back from Chicago; I'm listening to Ben Howard and feeling slightly nostalgic. The lingering taste of this mornings coffee reminds me of a certain someone.
I went to Chicago partly to see my best friend who I haven't seen in months, and partly on a whim that I may have my mind changed about my recent assumptions; I think my minds changed... Mostly anyway.
Still having mixed feelings about the fellow most of my positive posts are about (and a negative). I guess what's on my mind are two things: one being that I let my fears control me and there for I shut people out, which is awful and relates to my second thought, or rather observation about myself, that I think I know what I want but I find ways to change my own mind. For example: last night I had a conversation with so-and-so about issues that we've been having and where we stand and every time we talk about such things, I tell him that I'm not sure what I want. I think I'm as sure as anyone can be about this sort of thing; can you ever really be 100 percent positive about trusting a person anyway? My point being that either everyone else goes through this and I'm over thinking it, or I should probably seek counseling if my previous relationships fucked me up this much (pardon my French).
Anyway, just wanted to get that out there because I know I won't tell him any of that, unfortunately. But all around, I enjoyed my trip very much and I'm very glad that I can go whenever time permits now since I am no longer across the country.

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